maybe there's hope in the messes
by chasingafterstarlight
Summary: Molly Weasley often wonders when she became so selfish, to try to ruin everyone else's happiness for her own and lead on two boys. / LysanderMollyLorcan.


**maybe there's hope in the messes**  
><em>LysanderMolly/Lorcan_

_I say high, you say low__  
><em>_You say why, and I say I don't know__  
><em>_You say goodbye and I say hello__  
><em>_Hello, hello_

**hello, goodbye, **the beatles

She's not the type to get caught between two boys (except when she is).

…

Lysander Scamander is the fire-boy. He's the Quidditch player, the one that sees no boundaries and takes every risk that he can. He's sort of this blazing ball of fire and when he and Molly collide, it's sort of like a forest fire- taking everyone else down with him. Yet there's something about her that attracts him.

He's entertained by her constant drive and desire to study, and she seems to be entertained by his ability to push through school without ever trying. He doesn't get good grades; she becomes Head Girl in her seventh year.

They're a contradiction of sorts, even though they're both Gryffindors, and they represent diversity within a house.

From the beginning, everyone seems to know that it's going to be _Molly and Lysander_ because they are obviously just meant to be, ever since they were children and Lysander kissed Molly on the lips during story time.

But everyone knows that Molly Weasley has never been one for cliché, especially the whole _friendship-to-more _thing.

And here lies the root of our little problem.

…

Lorcan Scamander is a genius.

That's what everyone knows him for- Lysander Scamander's twin, the Ravenclaw, the one with the cloudy grey eyes inherited from his mother. He's one of the smartest boys in the school, a reasonable boy with a good head on his shoulders, and people say that he's meant for Lucy Weasley. But in seventh year he gains Head Boy (as everyone knew he would).

When he and Molly collide, it's an explosion. There's yelling and screaming and always _fighting_, despite how unreasonable it is to fight. He thinks that she's too _mean_ to her sister and they're both too confident in their intellectual abilities. Every time, he thinks that _he's_ right and she thinks that _she's _right and it's just a disaster in the end.

But some of the time, at the end of their fights, he thinks that he hears her whisper that she's sorry. And some of the time, her skin brushes his and it's an explosion of sparks.

No, it still won't work, though, because he's _Lorcan_, the boy of smarts, and she's Molly, the girl of fiery stubborn _reason_, and together they just create a disaster that no one can really repair.

…

Together, they are _Lorcan-and-Lysander, the twin Scamanders_, and they are as far from similar as you can get. She is just the girl who knows both of them, who _has_ known both of them, who might have some sort of romantic connection with both of them (but no, she _can't)_.

The drama really starts the summer before seventh year, though, when Lysander asks her out. To be perfect and comply with everyone's wishes, she agrees, because she is _Molly_ and she's always looking toward perfection just like her father, though she claims not to want to be like him.

But somehow, the sense of satisfaction that she figured would come with _finally_ accepting Lysander's offers doesn't come. She feels empty, somehow, like there's something she's messing out on.

He takes her out for ice cream, laughing as she tells him all about the funniest things that have happened to her that year, and holding her hand as they walk down the street. They talk about school, what classes they are taking, and their classmates.

Still, somehow it feels a bit boring and shallow. She misses the fights that burn with passion and the long discussions over things like the meaning of life and why things happen.

(He likes to claim that everything happens for a reason. She likes to refute that.)

And she wonders when she became so selfish.

…

They go back to school for seventh year, as usual, and where everyone can see them, it's _Molly-and-Lysander_. They're painted smiles and _perfection, perfect perfection_, exactly as Molly wants people to see her.

But they don't see what's hidden so far below the surface.

Living in the same quarters tends to make people more tolerant of each other, and sometimes the built up tension leads to more than just tolerance, especially in the case of Molly and Lorcan.

One night, Molly's sitting in the common room, when Lorcan comes and sits down beside her. With a smile (smirk) over at her, he asks her, "Studying for a test?"

"Yes," Molly shoots a glare over at him. "We have a Charms exam tomorrow. Are you not going to study?"

"I have no use for studying," Lorcan laughs, crossing his arms.

"Did you just come over here to annoy me, or did you have a purpose behind your immature questioning?" Molly raises an eyebrow at him.

"Does there have to be a purpose behind every action?" Lorcan wonders. "Sure, everything has a purpose, but not everyone Is aware of the purpose. Sometimes, we do things just to get a reaction. I tend to do that a lot of the time, such as what I did just now."

She wonders what has happened to the boy of _reason_, until she realises that maybe his reason is just different than anyone else's, though _reason_ is still_ reason_ no matter where you find it.

"Are you not one for reason, Lorcan?" Molly inquires. "How are you a Ravenclaw, if everything you do is purposeless? You must concentrate on reason and forget your impulses."

"You're not the best Gryffindor, either," his voice becomes louder, nearly on the verge of shouting. "Where are your impulses?"

"Right here," she shrieks back, and then her lips are on his. The flurry of sparks is unbelievable, filling the air around them with tension and _passion_. It's unbelievable the way that Lorcan (_Lucy's_) makes Molly (_Lysander's_) feel.

It's completely them, and he feels like rebellion under her innocent lips. Everything in her life seems to change because for once she's done something outside of her reign of perfection and things seem to be falling into perspective, a different perspective than she's ever had before.

But then she jerks away, not being able to tell what's going on in her life and not liking the way that things are going in her life. The Molly that she used to be would have never kissed Lorcan while dating Lysander. She wonders where that Molly has gone.

She doesn't even know who she is anymore.

…

After that, she accidentally has them both wrapped around her finger. All they can think about is _'oh, it's so beautiful when she smiles', _and Lorcan's grades start to drop, much to the amusement of everyone. During an important Quidditch game, Lysander falls off of his broom.

It's a mess, really, that's all she can think, and she's leading the two of them on because she doesn't know how to end either of their relationships.

It's kind of funny, isn't it- how one girl can be suited for two boys some well?

But when she's with Lysander, she feels no passion and heat, despite the fact that they're both _fire_ (and together, they should burn). But instead, they just tend to _fizzle_ each other out.

And with Lorcan- Lorcan's not _safe_. At any time, he could decide to end their relationship and go for Lucy, who's sweet and would never hurt him the way Molly can. She thinks that somewhere deep inside, he could be right for her, but she wouldn't hurt Lysander that way (not that she isn't already) and she feels that she and Lorcan would just fall apart.

So she sticks with Lysander, entangling them in an even deeper mess- the way that sometimes in class, she'll meet Lorcan's eyes and wonder _what if_, the pain that she sees in Lorcan's eyes, the way that Lysander sometimes eyes her suspiciously, as if he suspects something. But she's _perfect_ Molly Weasley and she wouldn't do anything like that.

She hides it all behind well-constructed walls and painted-on (sweet) smiles. No one will ever find out, or so she thinks.

That is, until Lysander and Lorcan both confront her, neither of them looking all too thrilled with her.

"How long did you think it would be before we figured it out?" Lysander demands, his fiery temper so evident that it _scalds_ her. She steps back, worry clear in her eyes.

Lorcan repeats his own version of the sentence. "Look, _I_ knew it all along, but honestly, you cannot keep _stringing_ us on as if we are just your puppets. We are human beings with feelings and this would be a _whole_ lot easier if you'd just choose and stop these games."

Her eyes flicker from Lorcan to Lysander- from _reason_ to _fire_- and she doesn't know what to say. Her whole body freezes up as she looks from the _stormy grey eyes_ of Lorcan to the _crystal blue eyes_ of Lysander. With a frown, she just shakes her head.

The only words that she can manage to form are, "I'm not doing this right now."

Then, with fear spreading chaos throughout her body, she dashes away, curls flying against the strong wind, wondering where everything in her life went wrong.

…

In truth, she hadn't thought that she'd ever have to choose.

She hadn't thought that _fire_ would meet reason in such an explosion, causing her to this ultimatum- either _Lorcan _or _Lysander_. There can be no more _balance_, no more passion and safety in equal measures. She's going to have to pick one or the other and stick with that choice.

But she's always been the most indecisive of all of the Weasleys, anyway.

So she avoids them purposefully, causing herself to go into romance withdrawal, and writes. She writes what would happen if she chose either of them.

With the one with Lysander, they end up in a house with a picket fence, watching their children play on the lawn. It's all safety, the choice that seems the most reasonable, and if she'd listen to her father (or if she's even a bit like him), she'll choose Lysander, because they balance each other out perfectly. But the fire in their relationship has sort of fizzled out.

In the one with Lorcan, there's passion- his passion for reason meeting her passion for perfection- and they end up fighting but always kissing and making up in the end. There's this interesting aspect to their relationship that she's never really noticed before, the way that they can fight for hours and still end up kissing and making up in the end.

In the end, it's a tough choice.

…

Lorcan comes to her, one day. With a small grimace at her, he stares at the ground. "I asked Lucy out."

"You what?" Molly responds, usually confident voice shaking. Everything she wants to say spills out inside of her head- _I was this close to picking you, I really was, because I've always been passionate about what I believe and so are you and we might have been something, a beautiful mess_. But now there's no chance that they could be together ever again. "D-did she say yes?"

"Of course she did," Lorcan replies, but there's a hint of apprehension in his tone- like he _hadn't _wanted her to (Molly hadn't wanted her to either).

"Oh," Molly stares uncomfortably at the ground. "Hope you two are happy, then."

Lorcan looks up to meet her determined stare and then, once again, his lips are on hers. His arms wrap around her neck, pulling her closer, and the sparks are flying as they always do, but then he pulls away. Through jaded eyes, he stares at her. "Sorry. I can't. I have Lucy and you have Lysander and things just do not work this way, Molly."

"I see you have picked up some hints from your brother," she jokes with a smile at him.

He doesn't return the smile. With a nod at her, he just turns his back on her. "I formally wish you the best of luck with my imbecile of a twin brother."

"Same goes to you with my dreamer of a twin sister," Molly replies. But she hears no response, and when she turns around, he is gone.

She wouldn't have expected any more from him.

…

She attends Lorcan's wedding with Lysander by her side and wonders why fate has fooled her like this.

Lysander wraps an arm around her shoulder and tells her that she looks beautiful, but she can't help but think that Lorcan would have told her that it wasn't reasonable to wear heels so high, that she might fall and hurt herself (in truth, she probably will). She sort of misses him, in a way that means he's still there but not completely.

In her mint green dress, she sits in the audience, her hand wrapped around Lysander's as she watches the wedding procession. In her mind, it might as well be a funeral procession.

Because just as Lysander is the fire that lights up her boring, now icy self (the fire within her seems to have burned out), Lucy is the dreamer to Lorcan's reason, and somehow they are perfect for each other

Molly wonders when she became the most selfish girl in the universe, craving to destroy her sister's happiness so that _she_ can be happy.

As the minister asks for any objections, Molly bites down hard on her lip and reminds herself that Lorcan isn't hers- he never was and he never claimed to be. She reminds herself that she has Lysander and that's all she really needs, right?

To the horror of Lucy and the amusement of Lysander, she gets up in the middle of the service and runs out.

Neither Lorcan nor Lysander follows her, but she never expected them to.

…

She marries Lysander in a procession of rose petals and fire, fire, _fire_. Everywhere she looks, there's red and gold. She feels the urge to throw in a bit of _blue _and _grey_, like Ravenclaw and Lorcan's eyes, but she doesn't voice the concern.

Because despite everything, she still loves Lysander. She just loves Lorcan, too.

It's all so messed up, and she feels like that idiot girl from the Muggle books that was caught between fire and ice. That's her, isn't it, in a twisted, sick way. But she's attempting to tone down her selfishness by allowing her sister and her brand new _brother_-in-law to be happy.

So she marries Lysander and tries so hard to forget about Lorcan, because he's her _brother_ in law now, and there's no reason for her to have anything more than platonic feelings for him.

…

Her first-born boy is born with the shiny grey eyes of Lysander's mother and the brown curls that are so characteristic of Lysander.

He looks exactly like Lorcan, and he reminds Molly every day of what she could have had (but she's far too late, isn't she?).

Lucy's first born is born with shiny red hair and sparkly blue eyes. She's a girl.

Molly finds it a bit ironic, in truth, how Lorcan's child looks like Molly and Molly's child looks like Lorcan.

Lysander doesn't say a word, and she doesn't ever explain about the Lorcan debacle. He never pressures her to.

Somewhere along the line of life, she realises that Lysander Scamander is far too good for her. He's always been there, loving her and supporting her, even when he was a second resort to his own brother. He's a lovely boy and he deserves far better than Molly.

…

She doesn't remember how she got to the top of the bridge. But once she's up there, she can see the world beneath her feet, and she knows that it's time for her world to end.

Lysander deserves better than her, the selfish one. Her beautiful son deserves better than her. Lorcan deserves to be free of the guilt that hangs over him just because of her.

She wants to set them all free, and this is the only way.

Throwing her red curls back into the breeze, she jumps.

…

There's a photo that is framed in both Lorcan's house and Lysander's house.

In Lorcan's house, it's a photo of Lorcan with his arm around Molly, smiling at her. In Lysander's house, it's a photo of Lysander with his arm around Molly, smiling at her.

Both of them have a jagged edge on the other side where a third person has been cut out.

It's the same photo, and it portrays the relationship between the three perfectly.

But Lysander's photo is encased in a frame with flames around it, while Lorcan's photo has waves around it. They both hold the same memory, times with the now-dead girl that they remember fondly (in a weird sort of way).

All hope for this mess is gone, now, and all they can do is prevent it from happening again.

…

Molly's not the type to play around with people's hearts (except when she is).

…

**A/N: I'm so confused. I don't even know what this is. Wow. I think I'm pretty much insane, so. **

**Leave a review and tell me what you thought? I don't know. I'm so confused by this that I don't even know. I don't know why Molly died, either, it was a bit random.**

**Uh, no, I'm not insane? O.o**

**For Beth- BethTonksBrown- happy birthday, lovely! I hope your birthday is fantastic, okay? :) I love you! :D**


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